How to Comfort Someone Who Lost a Loved One
When your friend has recently lost a loved one, you probably have a desire to comfort your grieving friend and are looking for ways to do so.
Grief is a natural process, and everyone experiences it differently. While there is no easy way to suffer the loss of a loved one, there are certain things you can do to make the process easier.
We have prepared some tips for how to comfort someone who has lost a loved one. It may be your support that makes all the difference for your friend.
1. Talk About How They Feel
There is naturally a feeling of depression, hopelessness, or even anger after the death of a loved one. Grieving is a process; it may take time for your grieving friend to deal with all the emotions they are experiencing.
You should talk about feelings with someone who has recently lost a loved one. This can help you and your friend get through the grieving process and support each other.
It can be challenging to find what to say to someone who has lost a loved one to express their grief, but just talking about how they are feeling can be helpful. Knowing they are not alone in their grief can make a big difference. You might ask something like, "How are you feeling today?" It will be a nonjudgmental phrase that will prompt a dialogue.
2. Listen Without Judgment
If your grieving friend wants to talk, just listen. Don't try to solve their problems or give advice. Just be a "discussion board" for them to say whatever they feel.
If you're unsure what to say, just say, "I'm sorry, I don't know what to say. I just want to be there for you."
Such situations, though they don't answer the question of what to say to someone who has lost a loved one, are tremendously supportive.
3. Avoid Unnecessary Questions
Your grieving friend may not want to talk about what happened. Don't pressure them with details they aren't ready to share. Just let them know that you are there for them and prepared to talk when they are.
If they do want to talk, have a conversation with them. But don't give in to the urge to ask too many questions because that often happens when you think about how to help someone grieving. It can be helpful to just listen without asking too many questions. Sometimes people just need to express their feelings without needing more information.
4. Avoid Empty Promises
When you want to help someone with grief, you can promise anything to make that person smile a little and stop being sad. But frequently, such promises can turn out to be a failure.
So, try not to make empty promises that you may not be able to keep or will only make the grieving person feel worse. Instead, offer a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen to. This will further break their heart and drive them into depression.
5. Send a Sympathy Flowers
A beautiful bouquet sent to express condolences is a great way to show your support. If you don't know what to say to someone who has lost a loved one, a simple "I'm sorry for your loss" and a bouquet can be very comforting.
You can choose a beautiful bouquet on our website - Rosaholics. We offer many bouquet options that can say a lot without saying a word.
For each Rosaholics bouquet, you can add a note with a phrase that will cheer up your grieving friend.
6. Don’t Compare It to Your Experience
We are all human, and each of us grieves differently, and what helped you may not help someone else. So don't compare the feelings of your grieving friends with yours.
The best thing you can do is let your grieving friend know that you are there for them and respect how they want to deal with their grief.
7. Do Not Comment on the Mourner Appearance
"You look great." " You're holding up well." People use common phrases when thinking about how to comfort a person who has lost a loved one, but these phrases can hurt.
Your grieving friends may not feel like they look great, and they may interpret your comment to mean that you don't think they are grieving enough. It's better just to ask how they're doing and let them tell you as much as they want.
8. Don't Try to Cheer Them Up
It is natural to want a grieving friend to feel better, but telling them to cheer up or that everything will be okay is often futile. It can make the grieving person feel that you don't understand how they think, making them feel worse.
Instead of trying to cheer them up, be there for them.
9. Expect That Their Grief Can Appear and Disappear
Your grieving friend may have good days and bad days. Things may seem to be going better, and then, suddenly, there may be a breakdown. Anything can happen. Grief comes in waves.
If you want to help someone who is grieving, you have sincere intentions and are prepared for such ups and downs. Besides, just imagine yourself in their shoes. Would you be able to continue to live a life? Probably not.
Allow your grieving friend to live through their ups and downs without judgment.
10. Do Ordinary Things Together
When your friend is grieving, they may not feel ready for anything. Just being there for them and continuing to do the things you usually do together can mean a lot.
Go for a walk, watch a movie, or cook dinner together. Let them know you are there for them and will not avoid them just because they are grieving.
Also, it's moments like this that show the relationship of true friends. And even when your grieving friend can make the pain of loss go away, they will remember who was with them in the difficult moment, and it will reward you.
11. Visit the Person Who Has Lost a Loved One Regularly
Someone who has lost a loved one will need support after the initial loss, so we recommend checking out regularly. If you want to help someone with grief, the main thing is not to go overboard with daily visits. The ideal frequency for visits comes down to your relationship with them. A daily checkup may be appropriate for a close friend or family member. With friends who are not so close, you can go weekly.
If you don't know how often to go to a grieving friend, we suggest you ask their permission or sometimes when you want to see how things are going.
Comforting a grieving person with a text message is another way to check on the person. You can offer practical support by contacting someone and asking if there is anything you can do for them. If you know they are doing something that day; you can also contact them and ask how their plan went.
12. Suggest Physical Assistance
Grief-stricken people can find it hard to care for themselves. You can help by bringing them food, taking them to medical appointments, or helping them with household chores. You can also offer to stay with them for a while if they need company.
But physical comfort can be as much as helping them with their daily routine, but also in other ways. You can simply give a hug if the grieving friend is ready for it; it is also a physical action, but one that brings a completely different feeling.
13. Respect Their Way of Coping With Pain
Grieving people often develop coping mechanisms that help them cope with the pain. These can be spending time alone, listening to music, or watching movies. Respecting these coping mechanisms and not forcing your friend to do things differently is important.
But you have to feel the line when it's a way to get over the pain and when the person requires a real distraction. The most effective way is simply to ask.
14. Try to Distract the Grieving Person
Sometimes, grieving people just need a distraction from their thoughts and emotions. Yes, this may be a little different from the previous method, but some people who are completely depressed and don't want to do anything need to be distracted. This will be your way of helping someone who is grieving.
You can suggest they go out for coffee or lunch, watch a movie, or play a game together. Any activity that can take their mind off the problem.
But, if your grieving friend does not respond to you in any way, has been grieving for a long time, and does not want to do anything, read our following advice.
15. Observe the Warning Signs of Depression
A grieving friend often feels depressed, confused, disconnected from others, or as if they are going crazy. But suppose the bereaved person's symptoms don't begin to fade or worsen over time. In that case, it may signify that ordinary grief has developed into a more severe issue, such as clinical depression.
If you are looking for ways to help someone who is grieving, advise them to seek professional help. If you observe any of the following warning signs after the initial period of grief, especially if more than two months have passed since the death.
- Difficulties in daily life.
- Extreme focus on death.
- Excessive bitterness, anger, or guilt.
- Neglect of personal hygiene.
- Abuse of alcohol or drugs.
- Inability to enjoy life.
- Rejection of others.
- A constant feeling of hopelessness.
- Talking about death or suicide.
It can be difficult to share problems with a person who has lost loved ones because you don't want to be perceived as an aggressive person. Instead of telling the grieving friend what to do, try laying out your feelings: "I am concerned about the fact that you are not sleeping - perhaps you should seek help".
It will sound like caring, and the person automatically understands that you are not an enemy but a true friend who is ready to help in any situation.
Flowers for Comfort From Rosaholics
So, if you do not know how to help someone who is grieving, we have offered you 15 different tips that are compiled to ensure that your grieving friend has a real best friend who will support them. Do not forget that the support of close people is a real treasure for each person.
With Rosaholics bouquets, you can express your support even when you are far away. Just choose one of the bouquets you think your grieving friend will like and order delivery. By the way, this is another way to cheer up, because everyone will like a surprise.
Yes, you can help your grieving friend, but it all depends on how close you are. If you are very close to the grieving person, you can be their main support during a difficult time.
Don't give advice; let the grieving person get through the grief. You can try to distract the person only if they need it. If not, the person can experience grief differently, and one option is to spend time in silence.
You should not give advice or make empty promises. And most importantly, do not compare how you experienced your grief, that is, the phrase "when I had someone die, I quickly got over the moment and then enjoyed life". It doesn't work the same for everyone.
Each person has a different period of adaptation to the new life, so there is no clear answer. For some people, it may be a couple of days, and someone for months can't forget the person who died.